But no need to worry, as the internet exists. Surely if you can't socialize in reality, perhaps the virtual can't oppose that! Maybe by luck, you'll form some friendships and a few instances of closely bonding with cherished people! Nothing to be stressed about now, all thanks to the miracle of technology, right? Sadly, no, you realize. Once you sit there, thinking thoroughly about some aspects of life and people, you'll realize that you'll never meet these people in your life. Only people sitting in front of monitors, typing and video-chatting to distant people that either range from a city, to another country. Electronics can't be a substitute for the social condition as you never know what possibilities can happen: the power might go out, or the computer could get infected/hacked. Then who else do you have? You sit there thinking much more deeper about how truly alone you are.
More time passes, imprisoned with the little fiend that propagandizes your mindset to inflict hatred on your very existence while lacking any social norms to partake -- and even if you chose to participate, there is little-to-no motivation to flow. Everyone hates your very soul and nobody cares about it. All that's left for you seems to be natural logic deep within the mind. A departure; a final road in the journey of life: suicide. There are all kinds of toys to determine one's death as what we've seen countless times in the media: the classic rope, a simple stainless steel knife, dropping a toaster in a tub of water, overdosing on medication, getting in the way of a speeding vehicle, and perhaps even a BB gun that fires solid pellets. The arsenal of the man's toolkit of destruction are literally endless. It's only the final call of a tormented soul that decides to end everything with these tools.
Now what if I told you that most of these were true thoughts?
The word 'suicide' is effective in it's own right: a simple word that describes a grotesque exit from living in what we perceive as life. It's a controversial yet understandable topic to discuss in general -- especially when it comes to the people who placed some deep thought into doing such a difficult task.
With severity levels ranging from difficult life conditions to a life-scaring scenario (PTSD), it might have someone question how to appreciate and value their life instead of taking it for granted. It may be a concept for some, it may be an 'edgy trend' for others, but no matter how bad it may possibly be: the fight for living another day definitely matters for most. (And by most, it isn't only for an individual's benefit.)
For this, a pros and cons list isn't needed, I mean... why exactly? That's for your own judgement. But as a person who put thought on doing it and reached that breaking point in elementary, middle and recently, I'm going to offer my tips that'll hopefully shape and question ones judgement.
- I. Think thoroughly about the situation.
Will this truly resolve anything? Is this problem really serious or am I overreacting about something silly and ridiculous?
If you agreed to these two, then keep in mind that there's a lot of helpful resources available. From contacts to tips and advice, there are many ways around resolving an issue rather than to depart from life. Just thinking the problem through helped me reconsider a lot during my times of despair, trust me.
But if you still want to progress with ending it all, then take note of my next step...
- II. Put a lot of thought on how this'll affect loved ones.
Just think in perspective: the face of their child or friend with lots of potential, forever burned in their memory, haunting them until the day they die. If your parents or friends really care about you, you need to ask:
Is it really worth it putting them through this?
Seriously consider thinking about it. It helped during my elementary years, knowing there were handfuls of people who actually cared. Think deeply and don't stop until you reached the last person you know. If you managed success, then...
- III. Talk to somebody.
Your parents are your parents for a reason; because they wanted you and care about you.
If that's not the case, your friends are your friends for a reason; because they care about you for who you are.
If that's not the case as well, your counselors are your counselors for a reason; because they want you to live happy and successfully.
If none apply for that case, then seek other contacts: the most notable resource is the Suicide Hotline that's available twenty-four hours a day; seven days a week. Do not hesitate the offer, and certainly don't hesitate to wait; contact them by dialing 1-800-273-8255.
And if you're on the computer, they have a chat program as well. Simply click here to begin a conversation with a mentor.
These are only three steps that hopefully cease any attempt. Going through that strain myself however, I realize that it's a huge battle within your mind -- a type of war game that requires a lot of support from the positive against the negative. Only you have the strength to achieve victory.
In case you need that support, here are a few more tips I can give:
- IV. Think about all the places you'll miss.
The point here is that throwing your life away, especially at a young age, is senseless. Why give up now when there's a whole world to be explored? Sure it will be hard now, but in the long run, the universe might give back to you. I've always kept in mind of this, which partly helped abort my decision. Never lose faith, and I guarantee you that there'll be something better waiting.
- V. If you have potential and you know it, don't risk it.
Picasso expressed his feelings during the Blue Period (1901-1904), which he mainly used blue to dominate his paintings. Not only did he mourn the death of his close friend, but he became productive with the material around him: building his influence of becoming a great artist of his time.
This is just one example of coping and relieving the Hell that the mind has to give. Never hesitate to express how you feel, no matter how skilled you are. Draw or sketch something out, create a story, make a game, and so forth. As long as you release those personal thoughts, a sense of achievement will be present; proving you are not what you believe you are.
- VI. Love yourself.
For example: I was a kid who had severe ADHD in elementary. Everyone hated me for it. But I still prevailed despite having thoughts of killing myself, thinking that it'll satisfy them. Instead, it was the opposite -- it pissed them off to know that I'm still around. Sure, I may not have the advantages of socializing with others, or know what it's like to have a sleepover. But in the end, a boy who had thousands of insane thoughts circulating his head that're both positive and negative, stood there and prevailed. Being the kid who stayed out of trouble and kept out of pop culture garbage, it took a while to get used to the uniqueness and to build that confidence. Eventually at some point, that boy would prevail at exactly that.
The point is, it will take time to build character. It will take time to stand out from the rest of the crowd; like a sapphire out of the piles of diamonds. It will take some time to find yourself, and it will definitely take some time to love yourself. It sounds impossible, sure, but discover.
Discover, then learn, then accept, then appreciate, then love.
That's all I have to say after staying up past 12:30 in the morning. After overthinking so damn much lately, I'm glad to make a long vent into a somewhat useful piece of advice sheet.
If you want to tell a story or give your piece of advice, go ahead and fire away.
For those of you who made it, thank you for reading and good night.